Aspen Peak - Niche Media - Aspen living at its peak
Issue link: http://digital.greengale.com/i/93399
ILLUSTRATION BY DANIEL O"LEARY and Finally . . . A spen's known for its jet set, an elite group of travelers that whisk in and out of town's thin air as easily as powder turns on Pandora's. However, the Rocky Mountain high begins well before a ski boot is placed to snow; before any Prada-clad trophy wife is balanced on the arm. Getting here can be half the battle, and well worth it, but heed these travel tips before strolling down Aspen's Main Street, where views of our cute mountain men and well- endowed peaks await. If you're flying coach (sigh), but normally fly private, no need to abuse the United Airlines representative at Denver International Airport's B81 gate if first-class upgrades are not available. First of all, she's jealous we're all flying to, or living in, Aspen. Secondly, United's monopoly on ser- vice to town invokes a certain power; with a smile she may announce the wind just picked up and the pilot may need to circle Pitkin County Airport for a bit. A little tease of the gorgeous Valley below may be all you get before heading straight back to Denver or diverting to Grand Junction. Beware; this announcement can cause a severe shift in the contents of your mind as well as the location of your gate. The Carhartt-, TGR hat–clad local shakes his head and goes back to reading Lou Dawson's Guide to Colorado Backcountry Skiing, just praying he doesn't run into his ex. Gate B81 inevitably results in several unwanted run-ins (on the flip side, it offers prime people- watching). The woman with the six-carat pink diamond and the Fendi dog carrier (Pomeranian, of course) will prance over to the rep to further discuss this announcement, as if complaining will appeal to Mother Nature. Additionally, and of utmost import, is travel attire. Our mountain enclave appreciates a stylish puffer jacket, but outfitting the entire family of five in matching Moncler coats (note: the 2-year-old does look precious) screams new- bie. Mix it up a bit, and please, and don't torment the teenager with one of those obnoxious snow hats with the fake fuzzy hair or braids. Big no-no, and it won't attract the Shaun White-obsessed tweens once on the slopes. And that couple from Miami, who normally has sophisticated taste but shockingly looks as if headed to a professional bull-riding competition? Yes, our flight plan is west; but remember, Aspen is a ski town, not a rodeo. Once in flight, a few primers: Your cell convo about last night's conquest 220 ASPENPEAK-MAGAZINE.COM MOUNTAIN PEAKS & QS united we fly THE NEWLY PAVED TARMAC AT PITKIN COUNTY AIRPORT MAY BE THE GATEWAY TO WINTER NIRVANA, BUT BEFORE YOU TOUCH DOWN, A PRIMER ON ESSENTIAL JET-IQUETTE… BY ANN JANE MILLER can be overheard. Also, you never know who your seatmate may be. A friend once sat next to a famous rock star, who popped Xanax and slugged Scotch from a water bottle. As she worried that his Belly Up show was in peril, he awkwardly slid his hand on her knee and reassured her all was okay. Aspen's wildlife indeed exists at 30,000 feet. Furthermore, you've entered a small plane that is cruising over the jagged Rockies. As a result, there are typically one or two nervous, nauseated flyers. Be compassionate, not disgusted by their need to clench the barf bag in anxious anticipation. You may have to join them when all is said and done. Rather, look outside and enjoy the pristine summits that become increasingly more pro- nounced. Don't, however, listen to the token joker in the back of the bus laughing about the instructions for a potential water Rockies. If landing over the pilot makes the the dreaded announcement that he needs to turn around due to landing conditions, there will be someone who believes he or she knows better. They might blurt out, "Are you kidding me? Do you know who I am? This is ridiculous!" Which will cause another, more laid-back passenger to finally lose his cool. This domino effect may get ugly. Sit tight, and focus on your happy place. Others will start frantically looking up numbers for the Colorado Mountain Express shuttle. Focus on the locals who are talking about splitting a rental; they won't drive you the wrong way toward the closed Independence Pass. More likely than not, this mayhem will subside, as odds are United's expe- rienced pilot will find a window to land. If the wheels hit the Aspen tarmac, the passengers will applaud in appreciation. If diverted to Grand Junction, well, that's a whole other column. Ultimately, if you're final destination is Aspen, no matter how you arrive, you're one of the lucky few. AP Amazingly Aspen!