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and Finally . . . I Feud For ThoughT summerlin versus green valley THE EAST SIDE-WEST SIDE RIVALRY REARS ITS HEAD: WHO WILL WIN THE BATTLE OF THE 'BURBS? by corey levitan t's the Coke or Pepsi question. Both Westsiders and Eastsiders joke that they don't cross that dividing I-15 highway line in their own free time, and the debate keeps growing as Summerlin does. Green Valley is the original 'burb. Its proximity to the Strip and airport make it a natural choice. Or is it? Newer Summerlin, having been founded in 1989, 11 years after Green Valley, plays nicer with the environment, giving it a natu- ral edge with Earth Moms and Preservationist Pops. Its roundabouts decrease congestion (and therefore fuel consumption and air pollution) by eliminating traffic lights. Of course, what they increase is the flow of discombobulated drivers who follow the circles left from the outermost right lane. And all Summerlin residents must navigate the dreaded Spaghetti Bowl to get downtown, an experience not unlike coming upon 300 head of cattle ambling in rush hour traffic. In terms of that other green (as in greenbacks), Green Valley is a bit of a misnomer. Its average 2011 household income was $85,647, compared to Summerlin's $88,394 (although both are far above Clark County's average of $56,258, accord- ing to US Census data). The money is newer in "Snobberlin"—a nickname reflecting its perceived image as Beverly Hills East. "When you go to Costco on Sunday morning in Summerlin, you see a whole lot of people that look like they're dressed to go to a nightclub," says Sam Bateman, Henderson City councilman. "You will not see that in Green Valley." Green Valley has no known nickname, the fact that it's situated in "Hendertucky" notwithstanding. Both have beloved locals and local hot spots. Summerlin boasts Andre Agassi favorite Vintner Grill, plus DW Bistro, Nittaya's Secret Kitchen, and Due Forni, while Green Valley is home to Marie Osmond, and Hank's, Settebello, Todd's Unique Dining, and Bratalian. Both sides of the I-15 boast the necessary Whole Foods and LVAC, but Summerlin is expanding above and beyond. While Green Valley has fun suburban staples like the fading District and Bread and Butter Restaurant, Summerlin is practically a bully, with Boca Park and new additions such as Lifetime Fitness, David Barton Gym, and Tivoli Village. Apparently that extra $3,000-per-capita income buys better public elementary and middle schools, too: Summerlin scored 4.4 out of five stars on rankings released in February by the Clark County School District, while Green Valley rides the relative short bus at 3.8. Aesthetics are a toss-up. Green Valley looks more like Ward Cleaver's America, with its green lawns and trees shading pretty colored rocks. While Summerlin's desert landscaping is not as bucolic as Green Valley's greenery, it is definitely more appropri- ate—we do live in the desert here, people. (It's also cheaper on your HOA's water fees.) Finally, if you have a hitch and the itch, you'll prefer to be in Green Valley, which is as close to the boating at Lake Mead as possible. Otherwise, Summerlin wins the outdoors race, with hik- ing and climbing in Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area, and skiing less than an hour away at Mt. Charleston. Also, because it's at least 1,000 feet above sea level higher, Summerlin is literally a cooler place to live—an average of nearly four degrees year-round, which matters quite a bit in August because, four degrees aside, summer heat is the one thing that Las Vegans don't need reminding about. V 152 vegasmagazine.com Only in Vegas! illustration by daniel o'leary