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F or 41-year-old actress and activist Gabrielle Union, life appears to be imitating art. In Think Like a Man Too, this summer's sequel to the blockbuster 2012 film, she reprises her role as K risten in a stor y of dueling bachelor and bachelorette parties—not to mention a "What happens here, stays here" kind of Vega s wedding. Cut to rea l life, where Union is planning her own nuptials, to Miami Heat all-star Dwyane Wade—or D, as she affectionately calls him. The striking beauty, still pumped after a daylong photo shoot, says she hasn't had her own bachelorette party yet. "I feel like mine is going to be more top-secret," she adds with a laugh. "And there won't be as many police officers involved, either." And how about the wedding? "Well, it will be smaller than the one in the movie, but it's definitely not toned down, per the wishes of my groomzilla. D's very involved in every detail. My dude is having a princess moment. Me? I did the wine tasting, and I've said yes to the dress. In fact, I've said yes to a few of them. That's the joy of getting married to a man who loves clothes and wardrobe changes: You can have more than one dress." Apparently you can have more than one home, too. Union's bicoastal life involves nonstop t ravel back a nd for t h bet ween Los A ngeles a nd Miami, where she lives with her fiancé, then on to Atlanta, where she films the popular BET series Becoming Mary Jane, which has been renewed for a second season. Her cha racter is a successful newscaster who, like t he actress, is coping with the impossibility of having it all. "She is a complicated character," Union says, "and I think what makes her so relatable is that women—at least the ones I meet—never feel they can get it right. We're so freaking hard on ourselves, setting this impossible bar." Is it even possible to have it all? "No! No! No!" she says, opening those topaz-colored eyes wide and waving her manicured finger at me. "You can't have everything." By her own admission, from a very young age Union was determined to have everything she could, at any cost: "My dad told me, 'You gotta be big- ger and badder and better than the next woman, just to be considered even.'" A s one of just a ha ndf ul of A f r ica n A mer ica n g irls at her h igh school in Pleasanton, California, she grew up feeling isolated. "I felt like I had to become a cha meleon," she says, act ing one way w it h her white friends and another for people in her community. "Even as a popular girl, I wa s a lways look ing t h rough t he w indow a nd ver y a f ra id of being exposed. I just wanted to assimilate and fit in." But as Union was making her way in Hollywood, winning parts in mov- ies such as Bring It On and Ten Things I Hate About You, her self-described "slick mouth" and penchant for "bagging on others" were earning her few friends in the business. Her outspokenness damaged her reputation, which was further compromised by a perfect Tinseltown storm. In 2005, her first marriage, to NFL star Chris Howard, began its descent into divorce; her network series Night Stalker was canceled; her agent's phone was no longer ringing off the hook; and she felt she had hit rock bottom. "I felt destroyed," she says. "I literally went under the bed with my dog and just stayed there." But slowly—after a painful spell of working on what she calls her "authen- t ic self " w it h her life coach, A .J. Joh nson—Union re - emerged, ready to heal, ready to talk about her transformation, and wanting to speak her truth. In 2013, in a courageous speech before a crowd of prominent African A mer ica n women—including her hero, Opra h Winfrey—at t he Essence Black Women in Hollywood pre-Oscars luncheon (where Union received the Fierce and Fearless Award), she talked honestly about her mean-girl treatment of other women. "We live in a town that rewards pretending," Union said. "I used to revel in gossip and rumors. I lived for the negativity inf licted upon my sister actresses, or anyone whose shine I felt diminished my own. I took joy in people's pain, and I tap-danced on their misery." After decrying Hollywood's lack of roles for African American women and stressing the need to strengthen, not weaken, each other, Union left the stage to a thunderous standing ovation. Her public commitment to support other women and to become a voice for those who can't speak for them- selves relaunched her career and revitalized her life. She began speaking about the women who had inf luenced her—women who had provided a positive role model when she was struggling. Crediting Winfrey with saving her life, Union talks openly about having been raped at age 19, when she was closing up the shoe store where she was working. She had seen a show that Winfrey had moderated on what to do if you're the victim of a violent crime. Channeling the talk-show host's voice, Union verbally engaged her attacker and was able to grab his gun. He ran and was later arrested and incarcerated. To this day she continues to lobby for victims of sexual violence, to advocate for rape crisis centers across the country, and to publicly give thanks to Winfrey. Union also has high praise for Viola Davis, an actress who mentored her, teaching her that she had a voice—and how to steal a scene: "We were on this medical series together, City of Angels. She played a nurse, and I would "EVEN AS A POPULAR GIRL, I WAS ALWAYS LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDOW AND VERY AFRAID OF BEING EXPOSED. I JUST WANTED TO ASSIMILATE AND FIT IN ." 112 VEGASMAGAZINE.COM 110-117_F_CoverStory_MAYJUNE_14.indd 112 4/22/14 10:01 AM