Michigan Avenue - Niche Media - Michigan Avenue magazine is a luxury lifestyle magazine centered around Chicago’s finest people, events, fashion, health & beauty, fine dining & more!
Issue link: http://digital.greengale.com/i/297393
ILLUSTRATION BY DANIEL O'LEARY O n any given Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday between noon and 3 PM, clouds of expensive scent and a pha- lanx of elegantly dressed, stylishly stick-thin women signal to the uninitiated that one has entered the hallowed sanctuary of perhaps 50 Chicago females: a cherished, of-the- moment restaurant of the city's ladies who lunch. These are women not seen in public without looking their exquisite best, with an insatiable need to publicly trumpet their social position and power. Their fervor for fashion bor- ders on religious, and their laser-focused goal is to see and be seen by their peers. Four select restaurants are their chosen lunchtime destinations, three in the Gold Coast and one in R iver North. Because I hope to continue breathing and live to a ripe age, I will give these establishments fictitious names after my four nephews—Todd's, JT's, David's, and Tony's— although they are easily recognizable to those in the know. Out of necessity, the general managers and table captains of these culinary menageries possess an elephantine memory of their patronesses' likes, dislikes, and needs, not least of which is to be seated no closer than S. Pellegrino bottle – throwing distance from their current husband's ex-wife, mist ress, or shady business associate. One high-ranking social lioness is said to g row deathly pale when her late husband's call g irl enters J T's on t he a r m of a detested ha ird resser. A nd at David's, baronial portraits of Downton Abbey-esque ancestors gaze down upon intrigues Ian Fleming would have found deli- cious. One skeletal, superbly dressed, and bejeweled grande da me occupies a boot h t hat wa s once t he doma in of her former best friend; machinations worthy of Che Guevara have installed her there. The delicate lamplight and sparkling mir- rors of Todd's soften expertly nipped-and-tucked faces—in stark contrast to Tony's, where sunscreen is a sober necessity to combat the intense sunshine that pours through its two-story windows overlooking an elegant shopping avenue below. Among these Chicago-chic ladies, blonde hair is de rigueur, coiffed and spun into a monsoon-proof sugar-coated helmet. Jewelry is understated and correct—diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but not at lunch. Luscious deep-sea pearls are occasionally seen resting on giraffelike necks, framed by lun- cheon suits on the order of Giorg io A rmani and Carolina Herrera. Food is consumed in negligible quantities, belying a gladiator's appetite for gossip as decadent as a platter of chocolate ganache cake. Confidences are exchanged with a solemnity that altar boys reserve for the Confiteor Dei. How fa rcica l t h is world is in compa r ison to t he Sa line Downtown Diner, six miles from my sister's farm in southeastern Michigan. Ladies of "the D" talk not of clothes and clandestine trysts, but of grandchildren and the upcoming summer 4 -H competition. Their clothes are conservatively cut, dark, and accented with reset family sapphires and restrung family pearls. A hearty lunch is required to sustain them through afternoon committee meetings concerning county farm assessment-tax increases and Grange benefits. Despite sunburned faces and careworn hands, they are every bit as giddy and gossipy as a 24k Windy City socialite. Albeit without the self-absorption and vanity. A reality show? I'd name it The Real Ladies Who Lunch. MA Lunchtime Dish FOR CERTAIN FASHIONABLE CHICAGO LADIES, THE ALLIMPORTANT RITUAL OF THE MIDDAY MEAL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOD. BY BUNKY CUSHING 174 MICHIGANAVEMAG.COM Onward! 174_MA_BOB_GoldCoasting_May/June_14.indd 174 4/14/14 9:31 AM