Michigan Avenue - Niche Media - Michigan Avenue magazine is a luxury lifestyle magazine centered around Chicago’s finest people, events, fashion, health & beauty, fine dining & more!
Issue link: http://digital.greengale.com/i/198792
Give Till It Hurts AS WE ENTER THE SEASON OF GIFTING AND CHARITABLE DONATIONS, ONE VERY FRAUGHT QUESTION HANGS IN THE AIR: HOW DO YOU SAY NO? BY PAIGE WISER ILLUSTRATION BY DANIEL O'LEARY F rom the windows at Macy's to the Goodman's A Christmas Carol, the holidays in Chicago are a magical time. But not all of the bells you hear ringing on street corners are celebrating the joy of the season—they're pealing for a handout, either to the Salvation Army or one of the 20-something urchins clutching Greenpeace binders on the Mag Mile. But how do you say no? That's easy, of course; you don't have to. It's no great inconvenience to just cross Oak Street or crouch behind that shopping show-off with the enormous Hermès bags. You want to give, of course, but you don't want to be bullied into it. And who carries cash these days? Coins add weight, and weight is bad. You don't want to jingle when you walk, unless it's due to too many Cartier bangles. Yes, the recession has quieted down this year, and unless you're being investigated for fraud, you can afford to be generous again. If you do it right, there's almost no chance that you'll break the bank and end up panhandling on State Street in your Louboutins. But this is Chicago. We give differently here. For instance, we're not very adventurous, charity-wise. Socially speaking, your safest bet is to give to a school or a museum. In 2013, the Zells donated $50 million to the University of Michigan; the Crowns gave $10 million to the Aspen Institute in Washington, DC; and Oprah Winfrey lavished $12 million on the Smithsonian. (Smart money says that she's angling to have her springer spaniels stuffed and displayed there some day.) But if there's no chance that your donation will result in a building being named after you, a statue, or at least a nice bench with your name engraved on it, your money is best spent elsewhere. Your most important holiday donations, of course, will go to your personal service professionals. Again, this is where Chicago has its own style of giving. New Yorkers are driven by pure self-interest: "If I tip my doorman well, maybe he won't spit at my visitors." In Los Angeles, people are driven by karma and/or their inevitable reincarnation: "If I tip my colonic technician generously, maybe I'll come back as someone famous!" In Chicago, our generosity is driven by one thing: guilt. We feel guilty that our culinary scene is so meat-centric. We feel guilty for giving money to street people so that we don't have to see them anymore. We feel guilty for being secretly proud that our government is so corrupt. There's nothing, really, we can't feel guilty about. And so we don't skimp on holiday tipping. A 2012 Zagat survey determined that the following were the average nationwide holiday tips: The nanny: $363. This is mainly a thank-you for not losing or psychologically warping the kids. The doorman: $68. Here, Chicagoans tend to tip much higher. A doorman just wields too much power. He should be tipped for not laughing when we stumble home drunk and for not judging the delivery food we order or our late-night visitors. He should be tipped for maintaining a professional poker face at all times. We're not like those other cities, where givers only write a check if there's something in it for them. Not Chicagoans. We give without guile, and with a smile. And hey, if the people we tip end up being people who can help us in some way—all the better! That's the holiday spirit. MA Onward! 152 MICHIGANAVEMAG.COM 152_MA_BOB_GoldCoasting_Nov13.indd 152 10/21/13 9:33 AM